What April Fool’s Day Means To Me

As a person who has a somewhat out-of-control sense of humor, I have to admit to some huge yuks in my past over April Fool’s jokes, both pleasant and unpleasant. Yes, I have been the butt of a few – an unfortunate number of them being “accident humor” at job sites – from the accursed crew members who may have realized – late – what day it was. Thankfully, there was only one “death” and most of the stuff involved good old fashioned crude displays of grotesque work injuries with things like machines sitting on top of fella’s and stuff.

(Ha ha! “Just kidding, man. He’s alive – look!”)

No, I love a good prank as much as the next guy – or gal.

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But I am convinced I have had the Mother Of All April Fool’s pranks pulled on me, in real life! Here’s proof:

In March, 1990, my wife, Alice, was showing massive proof that she had been pregnant for 9 months or so. As we waited for our “due date” of March 15, I noticed she was becoming hopeful about relieving all her symptoms of being a pregnant woman. I confess, I, too, was pretty excited about our baby and getting Alice back in normal human shape. We deliciously counted down the days.

And counted.

And passed the 15th up, then the 20th,

then the 25th………….. You get the picture. 😉

Finally, she had contractions! Oh boy oh boy oh boy! We run to the hospital and sit for a bit, she gets analyzed and we get told to go home. “False alarm.” So – we wait another day and repeat the process as her contractions (‘Braxton-Hicks’ it turns out) resumed, only to be turned down yet again. If you see some frustration still ripe and visible here, well, there is a reason for that. (It may be timely to note we did not have the sex figured out as we opted for the surprise). It was borderline gruelling, in spite of what it was we were expecting. You know, the new human and all………..

Well, on April 1st, 1990, we go again, with contractions beginning yet again. There was no way I was going to let the nurse tell us we weren’t having this baby, lol. I was about to become “Pop Nature”, by dammit!

Our very cool young doctor strolls in, looks at Alice and says: “Well, would you like to get the party started?”, smiling, knowing everything that had transpired. He laughed, we winced, hopefully – and, lo’ and behold! – our little daughter became a miracle – a real live born kid.

One never forgets the feeling of welcoming a baby into the world – the sensations, the chills, the worry and the sudden adaptation to being this little human’s protector for life – the sheer depth of this new plunge into the human condition and the mysteries of a future totally unwritten.

I don’t really see how it is possible to love anything more given the meager resources at hand, but I often also think her semi-diabolical little April Fool’s Prank made us care slightly more than even normal. I mean, being “fooled” by a baby is some memorable stuff! And how marvelously intelligent of our kiddo. Here she sits with her best friend, sucking down a milk cocktail and rediscovering feet. This proves how smart and how sneaky she is and was. Look at how innocent she seems!

Ha!

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So when people try and tell you they know a “good April Fool’s prank”, go tell them about how you know a guy who had one that lasted 21 years and 9 and a half months!

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. Your Daddy loves you, even if you are such trouble. 😉

You’ve gone from here –

AlenaandDad

To this and I likey.

Bernheim Spring 505

4 thoughts on “What April Fool’s Day Means To Me

  1. You’re a genius!! Hey, nice website, Alice. Congrats on your new business!

    Alice has gone high tech! 😉 (Note – she really is the best pet groomer around. I remember when the Circus used to come to Santa Cruz and have her do all their animals)

    http://alicespetparlor.com/

  2. Hey, thanks, Barbee. Nice to see you. One of these days I’ll have to drive down and force some tea or coffee on you. 😉

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